Racers got their season up and running at the slightly camp surroundings of the Lamb Inn home of the not so camp Shepherds.

On an alley festooned with pictures proclaiming that we should find our sparkling inner selves and other deep and meaningful phrases all of which had a sparkly connection, it proved as difficult as always to mount up a decent tally.

Indeed, anything around a six sparked whoops and moans of ectasy from the expectant Racers.

In the opening set, Gday was one of the few who managed to break the forty barrier as he owned the alley with a masculine performance, eventually climaxing with a 47.

Chippy Waterhouse and Wonder Edwards came in with a slightly limp wristed 37 and 38 respectively but fortunatley the Shepherds found too many of their wayward balls failing to touch wood and the first set opened up a 15 pin lead.

In the second set it was the Hobbit (45 ) who managed to keep his end up ( Ooo’er..) whilst local Launderette Magnate Ed ‘Sports Casual’ Baytun (28) failed to rise to the occasion at all but reckons he’ll get some blue pills for next week to sort the problem out !

Meanwhile, the Blade (33) turned in an impotent performance although did manage the Joy of Six three times in a row but then became spent out and couldn’t manage it again the same evening.

Either way the set was a tight affair going in the Shepherds favour by 3 pins.

Burnley and Bandaid then had a twosome both struggling to a poor performing 34 apiece, whilst Clive’s 39 was inspired by us playing against Shepherds and therefore the possibility of there being some sheep about, which sadly for Clive proved not to be the case. (So he brought his wellies for nothing ).

The result being that the Shepherds nibbled away at our lead winning the set by another 3 pins to leave Racers 9 ahead on the night.

There was no need for the worried furrows on the Racers brows however, not with such queens of the alley Franz Butler (43) Ski Sunday Reeves and his fashionable headgear (36) and the biggest queen of the lot Seve Dyer (46) making up the final set.

They flounced onto the alley as if it were a catwalk, rising to the occasion whilst putting in a good stiff performance and managing to veritably cream the opposition in a thunderous climax, culminating in a 12-4 win for the exhausted Racers…..

Phew…….I am now off for a cold shower to calm down.

Burnley.

The Racers kicked off the new season with a raft of new signings as Manager and Captain ‘Seve the Shadow’ Dyer embarks on a major team re-building programme.

There were audible gasps of disbelief in the salubrious surroundings of the Working Men’s Club when the Captain left himself on the bench.

A former target for the skittling galacticos giants of Real Ale Madrid ,the Shadow’s omission from the line up fuelled rumours that he may be carrying an injury.....but we later decided it was probably just the way his underpants were chaffing between his ample buttocks...

As the game kicked off it was nip and tuck with the experienced campaigner Hobbit (35) leading the way for new boys Nathan ‘Chippy ‘ Waterhouse (38) and Stevie ‘Wonder’ Edwards(40). A tight opening set eventually going the way of the hosts by a slim 4 pin margin with Stevie Wonder showing early signs that the free signing may prove to be an astute bit of wheeler dealing in the transfer market.

Burnley (39) The Blade (35) and Tony ‘Gupta’ Petitt (38) turned in a workmanlike performance to take the second set by 9 pins to edge the Racers ahead in time for the half-time oranges.

Racers narrow lead however, quickly evaporated early in the second half as veteran stalwart Charlie ‘Ski Sunday’ Reeves (36) big money signing Gary Bennett ( Didn’t he used to play for Coventry City ? ) (30) and Clive ‘ How green Was My Valley ‘ Williams (36)had no answer to Langford Rovers R.Williams’s ( No Relation ....although is probably Welsh..) 51, to trail in the third set by 15 pins and 10 on the game.

It was at this point in the match when the audible gasps reverberated around the Working Men’s Clubs art deco styled walls with the noise only being muffled by the sticky beer sodden carpets.

No Dyer !.....thats right, you read it correctly....No Dyer ! .........Gasp..!

As the names of Mawford (38) Ed ‘Sports Casual’ Baytun (28) and Chris ‘Franz Krammer’ Butler (36) went up on the board people quickly reached for their reading glasses to double check.

Whats happening they croaked....how can this be......he must be injured.....oh no, we’ve covered that already with the underpants theory.....

Either way, it all ended badly with the Racers eventually being battered into submission as Langford made home advantage count to eventually run out 14-2 winners by 31 pins.

Still, with the new signings, plus G’Day and Tony ‘Tourettes’ to come back, not to mention being able to play with our rock hard black balls the season looks bright.

And you never know......the Shadow Dyer may even make an appearance....

Burnley

Bleadon Racers Youth Team win by 25 pins at The Working Mens Club against Langford Rovers to gain 14 match and set points and consolidate their 5th position in the Division 3 table. G'Day also played but not in photo (probably a bit late), also not quite sure why Seve is sat down instead of our 84th birthday boy...Wear the old un's out first eh Seve? 

Scoreboard

We don’t really want to mention the Elephant In The Room that is Racer’s hapless home form but the team were once again Flogging A Dead Horse in trying to overcome a Mixed Bag of opposition talent in their latest visitors to their former Lympsham Fortess.

You should never Judge A Book by Its Cover as the Strays got off to an inauspicious start losing to the first set of G’Day (40) Hobbit (35) and Tourettes Derrick (46) by 10 pins.

Next up were Diddy Dave Mawford (43) Bandaid (39) & Tepee Pettitt (37) to have the Racers Jumping For Joy as they left the Strays High And Dry taking the second set by a precarious 2 pins.

In this Cruel Cut And Thrust unforgiving world of division 3 WsM District League Skittles however, the Law Of The Jungle prevails and it comes down to Survival Of The Fittest.

The first signs of the impending Slippery Slope was an 18 spare from the resurgent Strays in the third set as Lovestruck Jimbo Nipper (37) Chas Reeves (40) and The Coach ( Sack Warnock ) Williams (49) were unmercifully Put To The Sword and In a Nutshell, lost the set by 9 pins to leave the Racers with a slender 3 pin lead on the night.

Confidence although shaken, was relatively still intact with the Racers able to call on three seasoned ( old and crinkly ) campaigners for the Final Hurrah.

Was it the loud patterned stretch fit golf jumper ?…or maybe the ill fitting (baggy) flannel trousers…? Who can say…..( but luckily the Fashion Police were on a raid elsewhere ) as Seve Dyer (46) opened with a 5 and went on to miss numerous spare opportunities. Was this the Smoking Gun behind the Racers ultimate demise…?

The Strays final set however, ensured that the Racers hopes soon hit the Point of No Return as further large spares had the pins Raining Cats & Dogs as the Racers chances Kicked The Bucket in another home defeat.

Bleadon BOB Butler’s (45) and Captain Davis’s (41) not being The Stitch In Time that the Racers needed.

All in All, the Racers promotion challenge has Hit the Buffers……metaphorically..!

Chippy Burnley.

Racers Hit A Spot Of Weather !!!

A visit to the atmospheric Worle Century Club was always going to be a good barometer of the Racers credentials following a recent flurry of improved results…….

Forecasts of a bright and breezy start quickly turned chilly as the opening set of G’Day (34) Hobbit (36) and Tony ‘Whirlwind’ Warren (21 )….Yes that’s not a mis-print….(21)….had a turbulent time coming to terms with the tricky conditions to leave the outlook decidedly cloudy going down by a bracing -28.

The low pressure over Worle turned into a deep depression as ‘Chip Shop’ Burnley (29)…..Not a mis-print……Eddy ‘Biologically Clean’ Bayntun (29)…..not a mis-print and Tony ‘Tornado Tourettes’ Derrick (63) ………Sorry that’s a mis-print ! (33) suffered a -8 reversal to leave the Racers at a sub-zero -36 on the night.

Visibility seemed to be improving as Jimbo ‘Nimbus’ Nipper (40), Diddy Dave ‘Monsoon’ Mawford (30)……Not a mis-print and Tony ‘Typhoon’ Petitt (40) briefly found themselves in the eye of the storm but still ended up becalmed and unable to make headway, losing the third set and leaving the Racers in a deepening trough.

The tenacious Racers motto however, is ‘Sed non deficere esset crap nos’ ( look it up….. ) and that motto was put to the test as Clive ‘ The Cyclone’ Williams (31)…..Not a mis-print, George ‘Light Drizzle’ Davis (39) and Chris ‘Blustery’ Butler (31)….(that’s the averages screwed !! ) saw the Racers succumb to severe frostbite and plummet to a -16 defeat although it felt colder in the icy wind chill of this unforgiving alley..!

So with the Century basking in the bright sunshine of the upper stratosphere the outlook for the Racers is looking a little overcast on the promotion front after this whiteout…!

Psychologically Disturbed Burnley

Ever keen to push the boundaries of popular fashion, the stylish Bleadon Racers re-invented themselves to out dazzle the decidedly square Uphill Steamers.

The opening set made a statement of intent with G’day (41) The Hobbit (50) and Tony’ Fonz ‘ Warren (38) strutting their stuff to get the show on the road.

Next up, local Launderette Magnate & Sports Casual Fashion Guru Eddie Bayntun (43) opened the second set with a sparkling 14 spare. While Bandaid’s (34) balls had a tendency towards the Chanel…………Burnley’s (52) opening night on the new catwalk flat alley was very much In Vogue !

So with the GAP ever widening the third set of Jimbo Nipper (51) ‘Diddy’ Dave Mawford (55) & Tony ‘Tourettes’ Derrick showed them Steamers who was the Hugo Boss to put the Racers into an attractive position.

The final set had designs on securing a rare 16 points and ‘Giorgio’ Davis (42) Clive ‘Coco’ Williams (52) and Franz ‘Versace’ Butler (50) had the hapless ‘ Run out of Steamers’ heading for the Dior as the Racers secured a second 16-0 victory to add to the Haute Couture.

The win puts the Racers back in the Mainstream although the evening was slightly marred when the Fashion Police had an impromptu raid and carted off The Fonz Warren for being just too sexy.

So….with half the team achieving the magical score of 50 or more it’s fair to say that 50 is very much the new 40 !!

Gucci Burnley.

6th

A return to The Lamb, Worle but this time against The Shepherds who ran out 14-2 winners with only Racers Anchor set picking up 2 set points with an excellent 150 pins including 4 spares and a 58 by Seve proving the alley is easy really despite TitPuller's score saying otherwise!

13th

St Happy's gained revenge for their league loss by beating Racers in round 1 of the Steve James Cup at The Crown Inn, Axbridge by 13 pins. Seve top scoring again, so only one more cup chance left!

20th

Survivors showed better form against Racers than in The Mendip Cup games winning 12-4, Racers 498 pin score falling 7 pins short.

27th

A welcome return to winning ways with a very convincing away performance winning all four sets on the tricky Social Club alley, Franz top scoring with 51. If only Racers home form could improve we might push for promotion yet...

November 2017 Scoreboards

October was definitely a bit better than September. Racers are in Division 3 of  WSM District League and their current playing averages are here

2nd - Round 1 of the Perkins Cup saw Racers against Regent Sports of Division 1 at 49 Club (upstairs) Although we gained the expected loss (by 27 pins), we didn't disgrace ourselves and look forward to our reward. Steve James Cup (aka Sid or Duffers Cup) at Crown Inn Axbridge against St. Happy's on November 13.

9th - St Happy's were also our first opponents on our newly laid alley and what a result. 556 pins, our highest score in living memory (well mine anyway) saw a 16-0 win by 52 pins with only one score under 40 and Top Dog was Diddy Dave Mawford with an excellent 61.

16th -The AlleyBlasters at The Regency produced a second away win for Racers and things were definitely starting to look up in the league. Another 61, this time by TeePee was the highlight of a big 54 pin win that unfortunately only earned us 12 points.

23rd -The dreaded 'Front Pin' Hospital Cup Round 1 saw Racers play Earlybirds at the Boro Sports Club, and based on our very convincing season's first game win at The Lamb, confidence was high and especially after a 41 pin first set lead. But Front Pin can change fast and a much chaged EarlyBird side made a good comeback to only lose finally by 9 pins. Racers play Uphill Steamers in the next round at 49 Club (Downstairs this time) on December 18.

30th - October ended as she began with a loss to put any promotion talk on hold (having climbed to joint 4th place) Racers although scoring a very respectable 524 still lost to Langford Rovers by 10 pins. Clearly our high scoring newly laid alley is also much to the liking of our opposition too, and oddly so far our away form is better than that at home! So next game brings high expectations at The Lamb again v Shepherds.

October 2017 Scoreboards (click image for full size)

Well the new season is underway and Racers are once again back in the basement division of WSM District League, but any talk of potential promotion after the first 3 games played currently looks a bit optimistic and October can't come soon enough. Current Averages here

Our first game away to EarlyBirds (the perennial league wooden spoons) produced a very convincing 151 pin win, greatly helped by them having to play 2 lowest scores on their anchor set which fortunately for us, was only 10 on their first set. So full of optimism Racers looked forward to the next game.......And that's when it started to unravel.

Game Week 2 was a vacant date so Game Week 3 brought Boro Arms B to Lympsham, but our new pins coupled with our new balls (last year) didn't seem too work well for us, perhaps a newly laid alley for our next home game in October will make all the difference?

Game week 4 (game 3) was against Prince of Wales at the Boro Sport Club, but a four player turnover from the previous week did nothing to change our fortunes, although just losing by 4 pins thanks to their anchor getting a flopper 16 spare on his last hand! 

Next week takes us to 49 Club (upstairs) for the Perkins Cup against Regent Sports of Division 1 so we should win that easily ;-))

September Scoreboards (click image for full size)

4/9/17 Away v EarlyBirds at The Lamb, Worle	18/9/17 Home v Boro Arms B at Lympsham Club
25/9/17 Away v Prince of Wales at Boro Sports Club

Following last weeks 14-2 (20 pin) loss away to Churchill Crusaders, Burnley has once again been press ganged into writing the final blog (epitaph) of this season.....Enjoy.

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So the tide has now ebbed away on another season in the Weston & District for the Bleadon Racers.

What conclusions can be drawn from this years campaign...?

Well, it started badly, tailed off a bit in the middle and the less said about the end the better..!

Indeed, comparisons could be drawn with a certain event in 1912 involving a large ship and an iceberg..!

It was Women, children and Capt Birdseye Davis first into the lifeboats as the seasick Racers hopes of retaining their league two status was well and truly torpedoed long before the seasons end.

The rest of the Racers were left tossing on the high seas lamenting the loss of two other tossers.....Messrs the Blade Newbould & Seve Dyer who had both jumped ship in mid Atlantic never to be seen again...!

There were some high points...not that I can actually recall any at the moment.....although we did actually win our last game which augurs well for next season as the remnants of this motley crew must set sail next season in a quest to regain their league two berth.

Tosser Burnley

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Finally, congratulations to Jimbo who used his years of experience to pip current holder Franz and clinch the John Loxton Memorial Trophy for Top Average.